I don't want to stop thinking about him. . . Part 2

When you lose someone dear to you, and you have to get back to your regular routine, it's difficult to know how you're supposed to act. You have this person on your mind constantly but you have to function "normally" even though you don't feel normal. Because nothing is ever going to be normal again. There's a piece of you missing.

       On one hand, you want everyone to know what you are going through so that they understand why it's harder to smile, why you are constantly sighing and why every now and then, you have to find a place to be alone and pull yourself together. But on the other hand, you don't really want people to ask you what's wrong, because if you really answer--that's when you can't hold back the tears.

       And then there are the times when you actually forget for a little while and when you catch yourself--you feel as if your dear one is slipping away. . .

       I want to read every word he ever wrote, I want to listen to the music he liked, I want to look at every picture anyone ever took of him. I want to talk to those who knew and loved him, I want to remember all the things we did together, all the things we talked about. I don't want to stop thinking about him, because that's all I have left.