Goodbye, sweet puppy

           

Our sweet puppy, Samson is losing ground. Losing it so rapidly that within the last two weeks he has completely lost the use of one of his back legs to the point of dragging it, lifeless, behind him. And now he's losing the other one. Today, I haven't seen him stand up at all. If I try to help him by putting his legs underneath him, he yelps like it hurts him. I ordered a brace for him but when I put it on, it made it even harder for him to get to his feet and when he finally did get up he just dragged the brace around as well.  Over the last few days, he's lost control of his bowels. I'm pretty sure that the most merciful thing to do at this point is to say goodbye and put him to sleep.

            The vet does not know exactly what's wrong with him but the only way to find out is to take him to a neurologist. the vet has already done xrays and blood tests (to the tune of $500+ ) and they didn't really show anything dramatically out of the ordinary. If Samson was younger (He's 12) I might consider  seeing the other doctor, but I'm pretty sure that it would cost quite a bit to even talk to someone like that. It feels shameful to have money be the deciding factor in the decision but I just doubt that this horrible progression can be stopped or reversed after it has happened so quickly.

             It's breaking my heart to see Samson lying there so incapacitated. His favorite thing in the world is his walk. The mere word brings him to instant attention, and the sound of his leash being pulled out of the cupboard brings him to a state of frantic ecstasy. He can barely sit still long enough for someone to put the leash on him. He also loves to run around the yard at top speed. He could get going really fast! Once in awhile, when the kids got him riled up, he'd try to run around the house like that. It was pretty hilarious but it always made me cringe to see what he was going to knock over or break. He could get a little out of control. But he was also the best exercise companion that I could ask for. He motivated me by his enthusiasm and he walked at the perfect pace so that I really felt like I was getting a workout. And he let me listen to my music without complaint.

            Samson is such a unique boy. He used to have the upper body strength to climb a fence even though he weighs about 60 pounds. He used to climb the fence into our neighbor, Kevin's, yard when we would leave him home by himself, until one Christmas Eve, he climbed over and somehow caught a tooth on something and hung there crying piteously until one of the neighbors got a hold of us and we were able to get home and rush him to the emergency pet clinic. From then on, we've kept him on a leash in the backyard when no one is home. He got used to it. We have an old couch on our patio that he likes to lay on, and he got in the habit of going out and laying on the couch when he knew we were leaving so that we could easily attach his leash. He always liked the extra little pat and "good boy" that he got for that.

            When he was a puppy, we used to keep our screen door latched so that he couldn't get out. He tried to push it many times when he was little, but finally realized that it wasn't going to open. The lesson stayed with him so well, that even after we stopped latching the door, he never attempted to get out when he was bigger.

            Samson doesn't bark much but he tries to talk to us. My kids are especially adept at conversing with him. They will howl at him and he will imitate them. It really sounds like they understand each other. It's quite funny. I'm going to miss that.

            I'm going to miss HIM.